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But that's exactly what I've been, ever since I stole my first identity, wrote my first bad check, and ran my first con, over thirty years ago and long before they invented the catchy and now familiar label "Identity Thief" ... Since then I 've also been in the U.S. Navy, a cook, bartender, cab driver, truck driver, sales clerk, store detective, hotel detective, construction worker, electrician, foundry worker, telemarketer, hospital orderly, maintenance technician, ...